Last Sunday 26 July 09, Mom has completed one year of her death..............
Do I really feel about her as she is not with us/me?No way I always feel her beautiful and omnipresence every where in my heart in my life and in my all belongings..........
She was a Pride Mom for me as every one knows that the Lord Almighty could not be every where, hence, he made Mothers on the earth. My Mom was not only a mom but she was a live story of struggles and Success. She was the II number girl child of her parents, 7 brothers and sisters. She passed her Metric Exam and got into the job as the family conditions were not very sound and in the mean time she lost her father too. Mr Narayan dharmadhikari was a typical brahminical character and was working in lower court of Mandleshwar, situated on the banks of river narmada. Mom brought out the family and worked hard she used to walk 40 to 50 KM per day in different villages so as to serve for her job. there were no mass transport available and hence Walking was the only way to complete the works. After getting married with my Pride Father she was forced to continue her job again here the scene was same..... 4 sisters adn three brotheres all studying and no one was earning . Grand Pa used to do a small job and my Grand mother was also heading a preparatory school in Mhow. in spite of 4 persons earning the total income was very less and height of that our uncles and All used to cheat Mom and Dad and take money for all ill practices. I do not feel hesitate to share public ally one of my uncles had stolen Mom's watch, Golden ring as the econimic status was very poor of the family. Being young they wanted to live their lives i can say today but that time it was big shock to Mom and Dad.
All rituals, completing studies , marriages, and remaining rituals of their family these were the things which Mom and Dad had to finish. we were also born and they really did worth for us took us to school and taught us the ebst values and things of the world. Whole Life Mom lived separated from Papa as she was also in job and they could hardly meet in life. I remember in 1985 Papa was transferred to Dewas from Manawar and soon after four years of illness he died on 27 May 1989. We all brothers were studying and in this situation there was a huge loan of newly constructed house of Kalani Bagh, Mom kept working till we guys did not complete studies and finally Sanjay started earning some meager amount and I also started job. After so much works in these years and father's death she was with broken heart and just managing to live for all of us.
She had heart problems and I took her to Apollo Hospital Madras for By Pass Surgery. She came back with a strong will power and re gained energy. With three of us she gave a tough fight to all the values and systems of society, established the best rapport in relations and in surroundings. Both the brothers got marrried and had children. Our house was again becoming a heaven........ but she was loosing life and use d to discuss all with me. She was the only Lady with whom i was very comfortable adn could share all my ideas thoughts and all.......
She was a source of my motivation and always encouraged me to participate in public functions, become the best orator, debater, because of her I gained the President Awards and many more prizes which are really prestigious in the world. because of her I am known as a write and intellectual among the mob. Even when I took the decision not to marry she was the lady who respected my decision and gave me permission to live life up to my own expectations...............
I remember she gave me 10 paisa in 1972 when I spoke a speech in Jawahar Chowk, Dewas on 15 August. I wish I could save that coin with me, it would have been the best prize for me . I used to fight with her whever I used to change jobs and inform her that am not well she would say " so you ahve left this job also na.............??? " and with affection she would say come back home my pension is more then enough for both of us and we will live a happy life. I dont need money you take all and njoy live beta, but never compromise for ill practices and corruption. I would really loved to hear this and leave the job, I have changed 8 jobs as I know I can not do wrong things and can not permit also. After Mom's death this is my other job where in 'am getting the best salary, had she been alive , she would have appreciated and would have blessed me........ who knows she must be blessing me right now also???
In her last days she was tensed and had very severe problems as she was fighting with Diabetis for last 38 years and some how managed to live a Life........... just for us , so that we do not face any problems after papa's death she was the only parent of ours and she brought us to very high level of life. All we three brothers were well settled in life earning name and fame and now three kids Siddhrath, Aniruddha and Ojas( Amey0 were adding boon to this. It was a the happiest family. Offcourse there were middle class mentality problems were there but life was at its pace and in full swing. My younger brother got Chronic Renal Failure in March 2004 due to HT/DM and she lost her Himmat. Seeing her own grown up child on a Dialysis Machine twice a week and getting blood every month............ample amount was being spent... Lab tests, Hospitals, Medicines and pathetic condition of family made her weak day by day. She did not share all these with meand finally developed two Big Tumors in her brain.
I was serving in Bhopal and used to travel. I could hardly go and spend time with her. But she would call me every day and in turn I used to talk share all with her. In last days she was in bed, on 26 June 08 I had taken her to Dr Sunil Sharma and he adviced me to go for MRI. Vikas Gupta did it and said "Sir, its emergency, She needs to be operated immediately for her tumors else there is no life ........" I was shocked......
Next day with Mohit I searched Neurosurgeon in Indore and finalize Dr Shrikant Rege, who was a famous surgeon in the vicinity. Indore was observing communal riots and hence we could not take her immediately. On 8 July she left her own house ........ the house she made by her blood and dreams and she fulfilled all her duties......... the house she saw her husband's death, the house she was seeing her Son in a pathetic situation........ the house she was leaving permanently. I never knew that she would not come back...... or I would not have taken her to Butcher's Hospital.She became a victim of corrupt medical profession and gave her life for these money minded Doctors who are unfortunately SATAN, nothing more then this.
Hospital was an awesome experience, every day tests and money and commissions that's it.......She was to be operated on 11 July 08. On 10 July Dr Malpani came and asked me can we really go for operation.........? I said yes....
After 15 days she died........
26 July 09 was a black day for me.......... am still unable to understand why did I take that decision and gave her pains and Death.
Mom please forgive me and frankly telling you I have not accepted your death till now....... you are not gone any where....... youa re with me........ your One Asthi( BONE ) is still with me.......... whenever I feel any problem I would ask and touch that and I get blessings from you.
I know I am not a right person now to comment upon and confess but still I feel you are watching me and forgiving me for all that still am doing ....... and creating a nuisances for the family world and me.
But I know Moms are Mom and you are the best Mom of the world............ I miss you Mom
Please forgive me and take me with you........ I just can nt live without you........... the world is so cruel and values are deteriorated badly and what ever you have taught me, am not able to use it now.............its becoming difficult for me to survive now and I just want to come to you to that world where Love is still on the TOP.........
Mom please call me.................please...........
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