Sunday, May 18, 2008

मैं उतना याद आऊँगा मुझे जितना भुलाओगे अपूर्व

Once some one asked me from my family only that how long I will try to make relations and encourage young students and feed them with good knowledge / books/ stuff/ money and links ? because, they knew, that in my life span N number of people , students have come and become very close, learnt and went away rather flew away!!!!!!!! I dont want to write their names here, but, I too realized and when I was trying to make a list of such people who came and went, to my surprize it was a huge list and suddenly I thought of my time and resources I have given them and the gain was NIL. Any way, this is life and we all learn from this only.

It was 1999 when I came out from an NGO which sucked my early youth days and used my enthusiasm and energy. I joined a Missionary's School as an English Teacher. After teaching one year in a town like Dewas, I realized that the school system has collapsed very badly. I tried to work as the Principal in a CBSE School, so taht zi could do some thing, some innovations- but again the system was in such a bad shape that I cann't tell, the school authorities have taken the CBSE Affiliation by giving three Lacs to the inspecting authorities and it was purely on a business style school. The Owner was a Bankrupt person who used to serve in a Bank and was made to resign due to deep involvement in corruption cases of Loans. Later on I joined another school of Central Govt, but, same- I was back to the square and realized that the schools are graveyards and we can not do any thing.

The best part of these seven years was two major achievements of my life. I got two wonderful persons. The tough persons with spark and enthusiasm and a strong determination to change the world. About one I have already written in my last Blog "Mohit Dholi" and the second one is Apoorv- a face in the crowd. This young Engineer is pursuing his BE from a reputed college of MP- SGSITS, Indore, has a tremendous spark and a deep social concern. I remember he came across after two yeras when he was in this college. I didnt had any contact, just Hi / Hallo or Namaste to the teacher - just a show off, since, he was livivng in the area where 'am put up- Kalani Bagh Dewas. One day, I was coming from Bhopal and he stopped me and asked "I want to meet you can I come some time to your home? I said -yes, why not- as I use to ; a very friendly well come ! and he came in the same afternoon and discusssed about the various topics, careers, job options, books, films -means the general things which ususally youngsters very often talk and curious about the changing world. He also asked me about my present job, my work, my concerns and my ideology. I was happy to share, simultaniously I was also trying to understand his BRAIN and concrens. I found him quite ok, as students are in this age, with little proud, pride, preoccupied dreams and assumptions. He went but left an image and when today 'am reflecting all this which has changed my LIFE, I confess he was / is a potential guy with lot of synergy which can turn into a change in lives of people. Little arrogant, but modest and humble, took lot of time to become closest in my orbit rather if you see my Electronic Configuration you will find only two in my Nucleous Apoorv and Mohit - my nutron and protron; HAHAHAHAHAHAHA . Rest of the people are in other circles or classes if we see from Chemistry point of view and the chemistry matched as well with these two guys.

Later on we met N number of times and now it has almost become a habit to talk, walk togather, fight, discuss, sharing and orguing/disorguing and so on..........

I do accept that I cant live without these two james. I get inspiration from these two people and I can share every thing with these two rather they know all about me and my MAD brain.

Apoorv has a bright future, as his brain works very fast if you say some thing or give any clue he will not only get the theme / gist, but, also he will see left and rights of the facete and analyze and come with solid conclusions - very fast and quick and this makes him intelligent but at the same time biased. I always tell him to wait and see, I say "mind and parashut can work only when they are open !!!!!!!!! I like to sit with him for hours and hours and discuss on any damn issue of life, society, politics, economics,science or college. Mohit is far away from me and I dont want to call him and disturb in his life at IITR, although, I call him -even he is in preparation of his BT presentations or may be playing with frineds, or in class or in practicals, my call goes when he is in civil lines or with Sagar Bhaiya and I love to disturb him, am I right boys? Some times, I delibrately irritate these chaps to get a clue of their mind / activity or things going on in their creative brain. They become penic and start attacks and reciprocate that "U are really sick, play it cool my dear and and play it at a big ". I too get upset when I get such written messages and really think that loving some one is getting sick ? or am I really crazy and disturbing, encroaching their privacy as they are grown up children and very mature, do I have any right or any authority? I dont know but I know they are innocent and sharp and understand my feelings atleast and will forgive me for all this nonsense.

I love these and firmly belive in that the values they have should not be abolished in this global and hard time. I know there is a long way to go in life, I may not be there and vis-a- viz, they may not be with me ( I know- they have their own ways and life )but the spark they have should not go in vain. Apoorv says " I raise if you progress, when I was in train -I was thinking about our relations and I found that we are soulmates, no oral language can touch it, its heart to heart connection. Remember every thing happen for reason".

The best part of this young chap is that he keeps a small diary and writes all the thoughts regularly, which I feel is a very good habit. Whenever he goes , he meets any one , he will make a note of it. Habit of taking jottings is excellent provided he shapes it out in a systmatic way- may be on the bolg. I remember when he was in Bhopal with me for two days, we made this blog and orkut account. He has been promisisng me that he will snatch some time and will write precisely on the blog, so that, the world can read the beautiful thoughts of his writing and deep thinking. Usually it is thought that Engineers are rude, emotionless, adhoc, casual, irresponsible and restless, but, here the situation is different. These two chaps are highly emotional and caring, I can say very pridely; because the love, affection and respect -I got from these two I didnt get in my life. They are so caring that they will sense from my voice that 'am happy or sad and then immediately start preaching or become diadectic at times.

I am at a stage of renunciation and look world as the abondond thing where values, culture and feelings have no place. All the things have changed into materialistic things and we are just a customer or a by-product of the market. In such harsh realities I feel pride that there are two arms open to receive me, two ears listen to me and solve my problems, two eyes to watch me and hint me, two brains to teach me may be the Laptop or i pod or any thing coming up. I am really previleged for having these two persons around me.

Thank you so much for being with me and 'am looking forward for a long journey with you and hence, I use to say LIFE. I know I have taken a different road which was travelled by less and that has made all the differences, but, now I am not strong enough to go back and re start the journey. What ever I have -its yours and what ever I am today- its also yours; accept me with all my weeknesses and I know you are very generous. In my life, I could not do so many things, and there is hardly time for me, but, I wish you do all that which I could nt do, walk on all the roads where I could not go, and do all that which is impossible. I know you have zeal and determination to take the life ahead. Do it Boss, eat all as I my quota is over, drink life to the least and become a name for challenges.

Just one thing in the last; I know 'am very cruel and brutal, use to irritate you so many times and very often put you in difficult situations, I am too much demanding for time, help, and so many things and has no right to say even, but, one thing is that I just love you as my Betu and cant live without you. You have to give me the fianl verdict the last help, you know that...!!!

I wish you very happy and prosperous LIFE . I wish I could write an immortal song for you like Late Kishor kumar has written, composed and sung" aa Chal ke tujhe me le ke chalu ek aise gagan ke tale jahan gam bhi na ho, aansu bhi na ho, bas pyar hi pyar pale, ek aise gagan ke tale".